In your own words tell us about an instance when you had a perplexing, confusing, or surprising experience with your own health.

When I was in High School, my boyfriend at the time stealthed me (removed the condom during sex without my consent or noticing), and it, unbeknownst to me, caused a pregnancy. A couple months later while at school, I started to get violently ill at school. My vision was blurry, I was nauseous, and I began having trouble walking. We didn’t have a nurse that day, so I had to wait out the school day. By the time I got home, I started having extreme cramps, and started bleeding profusely. I bled through the night, and was in extreme pain. I had a 100 degree fever. My parents determined I had the flu, and wouldn’t take me to the hospital. I didn’t know any better, so I went with it. It wasn’t until I got to college and started receiving health care from my own doctor that I realized I had miscarried.

How did this event or journey impact your day-to-day life?

I think that I consistently try to fix my own health problems now. My parents would often refuse medical care to me, so it built a belief in me that medical care—especially for women—was optional and a privilege. In general, I am very paranoid when engaging in intimacy with others. I don’t think I can trust men to respect my wishes or wellbeing, which means I have to be extremely aggressive about those things with others.

If you could go back and tell your previous self something you know now about this health issue or journey what might that be?

Go to the emergency room. Extreme pain is not normal, it is not acceptable, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to protect your health.

Can you share any strategies or support that aided you in overcoming this health issue or journey, or are helping you to work through it, in terms of physical and/or mental well-being?

Self defense classes were great for me. Once I felt formidable, it was easier to allow people access to me and my body. Being open about white coat fear with my friends has also been helpful, because I can depend on them to bring me to a doctor or urge me to get medical care when I am hesitant on my own.